My Response to Jouelzy’s “The Strong Black Woman & Loneliness in the Age of Social Media” Video

Hey you guys!

This is a little unusual for me but I just felt the need to talk about this topic a bit further. Yesterday I was on my way home from visiting a college with my little brother ( a story for a different time) but during that 4 hour drive, I got an email notification of  Jouelzy’s new post titled ” The Strong Black Woman & Loneliness in the Age of Social Media“. So I read the blog post and then I watched the video that was paired with it. (watch the video HERE and make sure you go subscribe to her Blog and YouTube Channel). I was honestly taken back by this video because there was just so much truth to it. I recently came across Jouelzy’s Youtube Channel and I was immediately hooked to not only her natural hair tutorials/reviews but also her ability to speak up about topics that many people avoid. She is just too real to even explain, check her out!

So  after watching the video it honestly made me feel sad because I did not realize how many women are struggling with this feeling of loneliness. I read some of the comments and before you get defensive you should know that 9/10 people that actually speak up about these problems are able to self-help and know how to reach out for help if they really need it. I guess the real audience I worry about it is the women that don’t say anything. They are watching this conversation and feeling empty inside. They need to realize that a lot of women are dealing with the daily struggle to always put on a strong front and be the independent diva that everybody loves.

I know that ME personally, I struggle with this. I am a 20 year-old college student, member of the dance team, psych major at a medium size university and at times I feel lonely. I’m pretty sure that my first impression to most people is “a very energetic girl with a laid back personality”. I’m not the type to be in every ones face. I have a lot of friends/acquaintances  that I speak to but do I talk to these people every day? No. Can I call any of them and be fully confident that they would be in my corner and supportive? Honestly with the exception of two people, I don’t confide in anyone. I understand that not everybody needs to know your business but why does the feeling of loneliness accompany it?

Now my response/question not just to Jouelzy, but to all women is Why Do We Shut People Out? Why Do we as women avoid talking about feeling that make us vulnerable? Is the pressure from society to be this “Strong Amazing Independent Black Women” giving us a negative influence about our self-esteem? How can we change this? How do you make a woman be satisfied with herself when her feelings make her feel weak?How do we as women help each other?  Will it ever be okay to show some vulnerability without receiving the backlash/rejection of not fulfilling her “duty” as an independent black women?

I guess I’m  really interested in opening up this conversation because I know somebody that is reading this is thinking/feeling the same way and is afraid to speak up about it.  Please comment and share this post. Also please, please go check out Jouelzy’s Youtube Channel and her blog.

Talk to you all very soon!


Click the picture below to watch the video

Jouelzy’s blog


4 thoughts on “My Response to Jouelzy’s “The Strong Black Woman & Loneliness in the Age of Social Media” Video

  • Lakeisha April 27, 2014 at 2:11 pm

    I watched Jouelzy’s video as well as read her blog post and I commend her so much for posting it! Just as the both of you mentioned, it’s almost like an embarrassment for black women to share their emotional side. My mother is very much this way but it is my understanding of why she is this way that allows me to cope with her behavior and develop a healthy relationship with her. It’s all about understanding.

    1. yessarie April 27, 2014 at 3:29 pm

      Yes, jouelzy hit on so many different key points in this video. It really captured my thoughts and made me stop and think. We all go through struggles in life, why can’t we be open and share them?
      Thanks for the comment! It was appreciated. 🙂

  • D'aller Naturel May 17, 2014 at 7:03 pm

    I recently stumbled onto Jouelzy’s Youtube Channel myself and love her for her ability to just say the truth and be real–no sugar coating added! I personally believe that part of the problem is we buy into the stereotype of what it means to be a black woman in America. To quote from someone else, “the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, it is that they are incomplete. They make one story the only story” — Chimamanda Adichie. So when we all feel that we have to be this overly strong independent force to reckon with, it takes away from the side of us that is vulnerable, the side that is soft, the side that is (at its core) us. Being vulnerable gives other people the power to hurt us, so we refuse to do it. We refuse to present ourselves as week. But being vulnerable isn’t weakness, it’s being human. We all feel it, we all go through it. And if we were all vulnerable with each other and shared our truths, we’d realize we are all mostly in the same boat. And I think THAT is what will make us strong.

    1. YesSarie February 13, 2017 at 12:06 pm

      It’s crazy because I am actually reading Chimamanda Adichie’s book Americanah now and it is sooooo good! Thank you for your comment <3


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